Brain Dump

I started blogging regularly again when the Pandemic hit and forced us all to stay in our homes. I wanted to document this time so I wouldn't forget. Over the past few weeks restrictions have lifted in many states. NJ was one of the last states to reopen and we are still not completely open. Restaurants had expected to open for inside dining this week but the governor changed the order and it remains outside only or takeout. I feel for the restaurants that had stocked up on food in anticipation of a reopening and on a holiday weekend here at the beach. But I understand the reason for not opening. Other states are having a huge resurgence of Covid-19 cases. Numbers are spiking again. I think that NJ has been very safe and cautious, requiring masks everywhere we go. The calmness that I was finally starting to feel is gone.

My oldest is supposed to start college in 6 weeks. Going away for the first time and starting school 5 hours away from home is nerve wracking enough. I get emotional just thinking about it! But I am also so excited for him. He met with his advisor online and set up classes. That was last week. At that time they had told the students they will meet in-person as often as possible. Then....we got an email telling them that housing will be dramatically different. IF they are in a dorm, it will be single. And the majority of freshman will be housed in hotels. The school is doing what they can to get the kids to college and be safe. Then last night we got another email......they have had to change their "level" of risk to Elevated Risk again. Meaning what? Not totally sure. But it might mean more online classes, small gatherings....just another round of uncertainty. I think I've held it together pretty well so far. My family actually thrived during quarantine. But as we get closer to college, schools opening and what that will look like as cases go up all around us, I'm starting to lose it. I know this virus is not going away. I understand the risk. I know people are dying. I don't want to feel selfish. But I have those moments. I want my son to go to college like every other college freshman before him. I want my son that will be a junior to have a varsity football season like he had last year. I want my fourth grader to go to school and have fun with his friends and learn like we all did. But I know that won't be the case. Rationally I know the world is different and this can't happen. But boy oh boy, I wish it could go back to last fall before Covid-19 existed. We are all adapting and doing our best to follow guidelines. I'm trying REALLY hard to stay positive. But today is one of those days that I'm just not feeling super positive about all of this.

But then I look at this picture that Andee took yesterday and I smile. We are so lucky to have what we have. That's my mom and dad and their seven grandsons. A pretty great group of boys if I do say so myself!

Ok...that's it. Brain dump for the day. Now back to work......